A Second Chance
by Sinical-Sarchasm
Summary: A new student, after being expelled from another school, is given a second chance in her second year at Hogwarts. However, her hopes for staying at Hogwarts aren't bright. Set during MWPP. Chapter 4 is up!
1. The Sorting

A.N.: I've been reading and saying how much I loved a lot of MWPP/L fics (and MWPP fics), but I realized I'd never written one, so I decided to. *sigh* I don't know if it's that good...when I reread it, I began to have serious doubts as to whether this was a good idea, but I decided to post it and see what other people think. It's really important to me that I hear what others think, so please review. Even if all you say is, "I like it," or, "I hate it," at least I'd know what you think. It's not that hard! Thank you in advance! 

Disclaimer: Guess what? I'm J.K. Rowling and I decided to write on fanfiction.net even though I could publish my stuff and make a lot of money. Come on people, have some common sense. 

***

Second year James Potter leaned over to Sirius, bored to death as he waited for the Sorting to begin, and the whole school seemed to share the sentiment. People were shifting in their seats anxiously, waiting for the Headmaster, Prof. Dippet, to come and begin the Sorting. "Hey, Sirius," he whispered to his best friend, "I wish they'd hurry up! The Sorting usually happens a lot sooner! Did you hear we're going to get a new second year?" 

"Really? What is she, another transfer?" Sirius asked. The previous year, ten transfers had come to the fifth year for a special program. Most of them were total spoiled brats, so Sirius wasn't terribly excited by the prospect. 

"No," said James and, leaning over to Sirius, said in a whisper, "that's the interesting part. Mum, being the Minister of Magic and all, told me. I'm not supposed to tell anyone, according to Mum, but she's a girl from America, and she was expelled from the Snidget School of Witchcraft -- it's an all-girl school 'cause all of the magic schools in America are either all girl or all boy. But I guess Hogwarts agreed to take the girl even though she was expelled. It was probably Prof. Dumbledore -- Dippet would never do that kind of thing on his own decision." 

"Expelled?" Sirius said. A grin was slowly forming on Sirius' face and James was sure that it was because an expelled girl would probably know some of the best pranks. "Are you serious?" 

"No, you're Sirius," James repeated the old joke for what was probably the thousandth time. The two had always found it ironic that practical-joker Sirius had such a..well...serious name. James continued on, "But yes, it is true." 

"Wow..." Sirius' voice trailed off, "she'll probably know a lot of jokes." 

"Is that all you think about?" James said in mock-exasperation. 

"No," Sirius said, "I think about plenty of other things. 

"Other things being..." James prompted. 

"Food...and brooms...and...hold on, there must be something else...um...I've got it, girls!" 

"Okay, so you think about other things. Whatever." Their was a lapse of silence between the two, something very rare, and to fill the chasm, James added, "Too bad Remus couldn't be here to see the new girl get sorted and all." 

Sirius looked thoughtful. "His family is awfully sickly, you know? He's always going because a relative is sick, or he's sick, or he has to go to somebody's funeral." 

"I know what you mean, " James agreed. "God, I wish they'd hurry up with the Sorting. I've never exactly looked up to Dippet as someone who always did everything exactly on time, but he's never been THIS late before." 

As though in answer to James' complaint, someone who James recognized as Dippet's secretary, Ms. Trelawney, came bustling in, looking pale in the face. She ran up to...no, she couldn't be going to him...Prof. Schlechsten, head of Slytherin house. 

Prof. Schlechsten was known to hate everyone, his own house included, and only was the head of Slytherin because of the fact that he was the only Slytherin teacher in the whole school. Even his last name -- Schlechsten -- was awful; Remus, a boy remarkably gifted in languages (he spoke English, German, French, Spanish, Latin, Chinese, and Estonian) had pointed out, it meant "worst" in German.He also had been teaching their the longest of all the teachers, for fifty years -- not that this was a good thing. 

Ms. Trelawney was talking busily with him, and there was a look, at first of shock and later of glee, spreading over his face. When she finished talking to him and bustled away, he slowly walked up to the front. 

Without a greeting, he began. "Students. You may be curious as to why I'm up here instead of Mr. Dippet. That's a very stupid question, and therefore, Gryffindor will lose 100 points, Hufflepuff 200, Ravenclaw 300, and Slytherin 400. In case you were too stupid to even figure out how that worked, I was going in alphabetical order. It is a pity that my house is last and therefore loses the most, but c'est la vie. Don't complain." As several students rose to protest, he quickly said, "Shut up. Or else that's one hundred more points from your house." Everyone quickly shut up. "Now, I'm telling you once, and once only the reason. Listen, for the first time in your life, and you might understand it if today is a lucky day on which your brains have chosen to wake up for once. Professor Dippet is dead." 

A collective gasp went through the whole great hall, and the first years who had entered looked shocked that the professor who was supposed to be their headmaster was dead. "I, being the teacher who has been here for the longest time, will be the new headmaster, as protocol would have it, until we find someone else. Which I hope will be never, because I do believe it will be most...interesting...for me to be a headmaster. 

"Now, since you are all too stupid to know it, I guess I'll have to tell you that we have a new student who was expelled from her previous school, Snidget School of Witchcraft. She probably won't last any longer at Hogwarts than at Snidget, but I have to take her. Her name is Lily Evans." 

There was scattered applause; girls who had been expelled generally weren't terribly popular. However, the applause suddenly increased by millions when the girl came; for how could it not when hundreds of boys suddenly added their highly enthusiastic applause (especially Sirius'). 

For she was beautiful. Not the typical think, beautiful smooth blond hair beautiful, but the stormy, eighteenth century romance novel beautiful. She was an amazing sight, with windswept hair billowing out behind her, fire raging in her bright green eyes, cheeks red as though she had just came from a big adventure, and a general aura of a storm moving with her wherever she went. After they got over her amazing presence, the whole school noticed, with ill-hid curiosity, the letters enchanted on her robes: "Fuck the World." 

"Well, now we see why she probably got expelled from her old school," James commented, still in awe and wonder over the girl. 

Apparently, the students weren't the only people who had noticed it; Prof. Schlechsten had too, and said, "Before I commence with your sorting, I'd like to ask you a question." His voice held the usual fire, bitterness, and anger but also a trace of something that hadn't been there before: genuine curiosity. 

"Ah, quit with the old 'I'd like to ask you a question' talk and get on with it," Lily said, and the whole school noticed that she spoke, too, with fire, anger, and bitterness. "What are you going to ask me? Wait, let me guess: the question is, 'Why do you have Fuck the World written on your robes?'" 

"100 points off your soon - to - be house for talking back to me. But yes, that's the question. Because it is awfully stupid to write something like that on your robe -- even if it is true." 

Lily gave him an appraising look. "You think you can make me behave with this load of crap about house points? I could care less about house points. And my...er...enchantment on my robes is not stupid, it's very smart. It shows people who I am and that I'm not to be messed with. And I don't have to keep saying, "Fuck you," to people because I've already made the blanket statement, "Fuck the World." It's a time saver. And don't even try to enchant it off; I'm the only person that can do that. I already put a spell on it so that you couldn't. Believe me, they tried it at my old school." 

An odd expression, not quite sympathy but something as close to it as Prof. Schlechsten could muster, came onto Prof. Schlechsten's face. "Girl, that is one of the best ideas I've seen in this load of stupid children. Scratch that. The best. You've got a good attitude about life. Fuck everyone, eh? Great idea. I think I'll give your house three hundred points just for that -- even if you could care less about house points. Now let's get you sorted..." 

***

"Ah, so you've moved from your old school, I see," Lily jumped when she heard the voice. They hadn't had one of these...hats...at Snidget. How was she supposed to know that it was going to start talking to her? She fell off the stool and landed on her but in a sprawl. She heard the whole school's laughter and the hat fell off her head. 

Lily was careful not to show embarrassment, or to laugh with them, or to show any emotion other than her normal angry, indifferent one. It was better that way, she knew. Emotions made you way more vulnerable than you already were -- and vulnerability was bad, because humans naturally take advantage of vulnerability the second that they could. Still, inside her mind she decided that she'd have to show them that she wasn't some retard who couldn't even deal with a hat talking to her. She had dealt with far more shit than that. 

She replaced the hat on her head, and it resumed speaking. "What house to put you in, now? Aye, it's a hard one..." 

Lily rolled her eyes and said -- or rather thought, "Oh shaddup. You and I both know perfectly well I'm a nasty piece of shit -- why else would I have gotten expelled? -- whose going to be put right in Slytherin, supposedly the house for all nasty pieces of shit. It's not like I'm good enough to be Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, or Hufflepuff material." 

"Now, I've heard a lot of lies in my career as Sorting Hat, but never any so ridiculous as that. Granted, your no Hufflepuff, I won't lie to you, but you're very smart, even you must admit that, and my goodness, you're brave. 

Brave? That was certainly one Lily had never heard. Bratty, Waspish, Dangerous, Not To Come Within Five Hundred Feet Of, Enigmatic, Intelligent, Nasty, Beautiful, and Crazy, a whore who was full of shit (that was her father, of cours), yes, she'd certainly heard all of these, but never BRAVE. Still, she let the hat continue with its monologue without interruption, feeling that interrupting would only make it longer before it shouted its verdict of Slytherin. 

"Yes, dear, " the hat continued, and there was a very un-Hat-like sympathy in its voice, "aye, you've had a hard, awful life, but really, you're a fine girl, and a mighty brave one too. You've just had a difficult time in life. Poor dear." 

This time Lily showed no hesitation in interrupting. "Hat-a-ma-bob, or whatever you're called --" 

"Call me Helga, dear," the hat interceded." 

"Fine, Helga, I've got just two things to tell you before I let you put me in Slytherin. First, I hate pity. If there is anything I hate more than pain, its pity, so I do the same thing as I do with pain: I smile at it and say Fuck You. Second, I don't buy any of the "poor girl" crap you're giving me here. You're just like all the others: you give me kind words, false sympathy, and the back of your hand. So fuck off." Lily finished her little monologue with an odd satisfaction. That stupid hat, Helga or whatever, had thought it could win with her by pretending to feel sorry. Just like all the others. Well, now she had proven that it wouldn't. 

Lily could almost sense Helga smiling as she said, "Oh, dear, that's what you think now, but wait, because I'm about to show you something. It's not all just words and false sympathy you get from me. For I'm about to give you something that is going to prove that: 

"GRYFFINDOR!" 

***

A.N.2: So what did you think? Was it good? Was it awful? What did you think of my Lily? I'm trying to stay away from making her the typical Mary Sue that a lot of people make her -- perhaps I went a bit overboard on that idea, but I personally rather liked the idea, though I'm seriously reconsidering if I like the story itself. 

People, I know a lot of you don't review, but really, it's not that hard. If you really think it's so hard because you feel obliged to type a long thing and you don't want to type a long thing, just type it, "I liked it," or, "I didn't like it." At least I'll know what you think. 

If you're an author and you review, I'll read any (non R, non NC-17) Harry Potter or Original fic that you've written and give you a review ASAP! And if you like it, do review, because if I don't get enough reviews telling me to go on, I won't. Hope this encourages some of you non-reviewers out there! (In case you couldn't tell, I'm desperate for reviews.) 


	2. Revenge

A.N.: Even though I got a grand total of one review for part one, I decided to continue nonetheless. This one has some stuff in which America is a sort of behind the times nation. I am in no way prejudice against America or her people because I AM an American, but I just felt like doing this. Hopefully more reviews this time! *hint, hint* The offer to r/r one of your Harry Potter/Original non-R non-NC-17 fics is still up! Excuse the use of cursing by some characters...but when I was eleven, people did curse quite a lot. It's a fact of life, get used to it. Feedback is very needed. I think you get the point. BTW, I tried to post this earlier but I messed up and reuploaded chapter one as chapter two so there were two chapter ones...sorry people. Anyway, that's fixed now, so please plase please R/R!!!!!!!!! 

I'm JK Rowling! Not. 

***

To a normal person that night dinner would have been an ordeal. To Lily it was nothing. A pleasure if anything compared to the dinners at Snidget. 

America was old-fashioned in that way. Girls were too weak supposedly to be able to do much on their own. That's why all the teachers there were males. And fathers had to accompany the children at dinner and accompanied them wherever they went. Oh damn how she hated that. 

Her father wherever she went. What ugly twists fate brings us. The expulsion had been so good. To move to the more progressive England...maybe life was working out for her after all. 

_No,_ she reminded herself, _stop the optimism. Optimism is what ruins people and makes people vulnerable. That along with emotions. Perhaps optimism is an emotion. It's as bad as one._

As if to prove that optimism was an ugly, despicable, and volatile creature,she heard a voice. "Lily! Yohoo, Lily? ARE YOU THERE? Calling Lily Evans..." 

Lily snapped to attention. "Who is it? Who's talking to me?" 

There was no direct answer, but it soon became obvious. "Me, you stupid-ass." It was a blond haired girl. She wore designer robes, had blue eyes, and was generally what is termed "the perfect beautiful popular girl." And Lily hated her. 

Hate. Now that was an emotion she allowed herself to feel. Hate, sadness, anger, and indifference were the four. And variants of the same. These were what she always wore -- even when she felt loving, happy, mild, or cared about something (which was rare). You wear a mask. 

Every group of people exceptional for some reason wears their own mask. Lily had figured that out a long time ago too. She and the people like her wore the mask she wore, or something close. The smart ones pretended to be perfect and not care about anything except their studies. Those who were depressed but had a good life generally other than that pretend to be happy. Those extremely beautiful pretend to be stupid and care less about anything other than their beauty. 

The rest, the average, wore no mask. That had surprised Lily when she first learned it. Letting everything show and being open. Sure they weren't vulnerable now, but they could become vulnerable at any minute and didn't they realize that vulnerability came from going on without a mask? Stupid. 

She hadn't realized that she'd been day-dreaming on a tangent, as she often did when left to her own devices, until the girl's razor-sharp voice cut in again. She was looking at another cheerleader prototype. "Damn! That girl is always, like drifting off, isn't she Mary? I swear." 

The other girl responded. "Yeah, Sue, I know! God! She stares off into space and doesn't hear us, she jumps when the sorting hat starts talking, and then theirs that weird thing, the way she wrote Fuck You on her robes?" 

"I totally know what you mean," the other girl responded with a giggle she didn't even try to hide. 

Now, decided Lily, was the time to get back at them: for this and for their laughter. She knew they were among those who had laughed. But she kept the hateful, sad, and indifferent look on her face. "Why don't you two just follow the instructions on my robe and fuck yourself. But as I don't believe you will, even though it's the best advice I could give you, I'll have to do something myself." And that was when the pretty talk ended and the real stuff started. 

Lily relished doing this. She practiced -- not really for this, though it came in handy, but rather for her father. Still, it would work. 

Punches. Kicks. No magic. Magic didn't work the same as physical violence. She had gave them a tirade of violence before finishing it off with one sickening punch in the stomach for each that sent the two vomiting. 

The whole while she had kept her normal expression. No need to show what she felt. Not only no need, but good reason. Showing what one feels is an excuse to be vulnerable. That's what these girls didn't understand. They let her see everything they felt, their pretense of stupidity failing to hide emotion. Let her see what got to them, what made them happy. Happiness. That was a big bad one. 

So was hope and wish for something better, or something different, something that cannot be. Very dangerous. 

Then she realized. That was it. The way to show them and the way to get back for the past and the present and the future. Hopes...desires...wishes. 

But she could think about that later. For now, she merely had to deal with the approaching figure of an auburn haired professor she recognized as Blumbleore, or something like that. 

***

Dumbledore looked at the girl. "You're the new second year, aren't you?" He said. 

Lily looked at him. "What the fuck do you think? I'm new?" 

Dumbledore shook his head. "Dear girl, you certainly do have issues." 

Lily rolled her eyes. "Don't do that cute little dear girl and issues talk. I have heard enough of that talk from people who supposedly fucking care but don't and I don't need any from your little head. Now look at my robes. Can you read? It says Fuck the World. That includes you. Good. Now go do so, by all means." 

Dumbledore's eyes sparkled. "Ah, but I think you do enough of that without my help. But that's not the issue at stake. The issue is your punishment. And the punishment is --" 

"Let me guess, " Lily said, bored and indifferent. "Points of my house. Well I don't give a damn about them, so give up!" 

"Oh no," said Dumbledore, "not house points, they wouldn't do a darn thing. I'm smarter than that. Your punishment is merely this: there are about thirty-two students per house. Each dorm room holds approximately four or five. Your dorm mates are now going to be Linda -- a girl you do not know yet -- and Mary and Sue, the two which you...er...don't appear to get along with. It is also going to proceed this year that we will have activities which we do with our dorm mates to build friendship. Perhaps your attitudes towards one another will change. You will all be in dorm 2-E Yes, dear Lily, that is a fitting punishment -- a punishment which may not even turn out to be, in the long-run, so much of a punishment as a reward." 

Inwardly, Lily cursed a bit. Damn. Spending all that time with Mary and Sue! But it didn't matter. It couldn't be as bad as living with her father, and she'd handled that. And team building, my ass, she thought. There is no way in hell we'll build a team. "Bunbleore, or whatever, I don't believe one damn word out of your mouth. But you can talk. Whatever." 

Then she left for her dorm. 

***

Lily thought a bit. Desire...desire...some way to make people think about their desire. 

But how? Perhaps a lake? No, making a large enough lake would be too difficult. Lake creating charms were always hard. She remembered reading about the creation of the Snidget Dam in 1856. Even the most skilled wizards had had difficulty getting that much water, much less making the dam itself. 

Hallucinations? But she remembered reading about how there was no way to make a large group have hallucinations. It would have to be one by one. And that would be too long and too difficult. 

Something that they would have to reflect on their desires...reflect...wait, there's something. Reflect. Why does that word seem so helpful. 

And reflect revolved into reflection. Reflection! A reflection. Where do you see one? A mirror. That would be it. A Mirror of Wishes. 

No, not a Mirror of Wishes. That wouldn't do. The name sounds stupid. 

Mirror of Hope? No, that sounded wishy-washy too. Like it brings people hope. The mirror isn't supposed to make people hope for things. No, it's supposed to make people despair. Despair and hope aren't the same for most...for some, hope only brings despair, but for most they are different. 

The things they desire...that's it! The Mirror of Desire. Yes, that's a good name. The Mirror of Desire. 

Except...there was still a problem with it, Lily knew. If they saw a mirror named the Mirror of Desire, some of the smarter ones, those with any sense, the ones who wore good masks, they would turn away. Others would consider it just a stupid ploy and not look at it. It had to be something that would draw them towards it, make them wonder, make them want to see. 

She toyed with the word a little. Desire...Desirreee...backwards it's Erised...yes, Erised. That was good. It almost sounded like a foreign name. Definitely would make people want to look. 

And after all, that's what Lily wanted. People to look. And to despair thereafter. To be driven mad. That would be the best revenge. Yes, that's what she wanted. And so she began. 

But just then, Mary and Sue entered. And they looked upon her and groaned. 

***

A.N.: So what'd you think? Good, bad, what? I know it's a bit short, but I have semi-writer's block and semi-writer's DISCOURAGEMENT from the lack of reviews last time (hint, hint). PLEASE review!!!!!! R/R!!!!!!! Okay? Please please please review. Thanx in advance. :-)


	3. The Trouble Gang

A.N.: Well, here's the next part of my MWPPL fic. Though I must say I still don't have very many readers, I figure that the more I write, the larger my readership will become, and anyway, I enjoy it. This part has far less cursing than the last two simply because there is less Lily -- Lily is, after all, the main cursing character here. (All the nice people who don't like cursing cheer.) Anyway, this is more focused on MWPP and less in Lily because that was just my mood, but it has some Lily anyway. So get ready for the third chapter, in which, among other things, the first bits of romance begin to blossom -- though, perhaps, not between who you might think! 

Disclaimer: I'm J.K. Rowling. I'm j/k. (This is becoming my standard disclaimer.) 

***

As they entered their first period class, the first class they'd go to that year, James was sure he could see Prof. MacMillan, the Charms teacher, groan. Throughout the school, they were known as the "trouble gang," and with Prof. MacMillan, it was no exception. 

The man was an old man whose hair was becoming by the day more salt and less pepper, probably in part due to The Trouble Gang's frequent pranks. He was a well-intentioned man, but he had been trained in the old disciplinarian pedagogy where people like James, Sirius, and Remus (though the last was currently absent due to another family crisis) were considered scum which had to be corrected. 

Now an nice group of perfect little boys would recognize that the man was trained differently and therefore try not to make life hard for him. A normal group would, at least, try not to make life hard for him anyway -- they wouldn't want to be punished. It was a way to deal with it that was by no means unique. 

But then, James, Sirius, and Remus weren't your ordinary boys. So they decided to deal with it...differently. 

They pulled pranks. 

And more pranks. 

And more. 

Their main goal in life seemed to give all teachers, especially Prof. MacMillan, a living hell. And they succeeded. 

Today was just another day... 

The boys had come early to class. They knew Prof. MacMillan wouldn't be there; he was always grabbing supplies like textbooks from the teachers lounge. He was like that -- it wasn't procrastination (waiting till the last minute), but rather perfectionism (going to the last minute to get as much done as possible) that drove him to this. 

Most students were angered because it made their work harder, but as I've said before, James, Sirius, and Remus were not most students. 

They took advantage of it. Today, they had decided, would be the day of the Bursting Poppers. These were actually outlawed for any more sale a while ago because if you mixed the wrong chemicals with them, some of these chemicals being very common potion ingredients, they would have very dangerous reactions. But that didn't keep the three from having them -- the moment they'd heard of the lawsuit (filed by one of the wizarding community's most renowned lawyers) they'd stocked up on them, just about buying the whole stock in all magical joke shops. 

And now it was paying off. One on each student's seat, them all over the place where the teacher would be. They grinned imagining the sight. 

Finally, they were done and surveyed their work. Only one thing left to do: put a Visible Shrinking spell on. That made the size you see shrink but the volume still be the same. It was marvelous, how this thing worked. They could do that whenever they wanted. Probably the first spell they'd ever learned. 

And then they waited. 

***

The class filed in. They couldn't take their seats yet. They had to go through the Hogwarts Pledge. It was an annoying old tradition, supposedly written by Rowena Ravenclaw that only Prof. MacMillan made them go through anyway, but there was no way except extreme sickness or death to get out of it in HIS class. 

Finally the guy walked in, hairs whiter than ever. "Students, the Hogwarts Pledge." And they all began: 

To this old school we pledge in love,  
To be undyingly loyal,  
To not it's name tarnish nor soil,  
With our protection and that from above. 

We pledge this to the four houses strong,  
That we may treat each with equal reverence,  
Work for ours with great perseverance,  
And with every house get along. 

Helga Hufflepuff we ask,  
That you may grant us the patience we may need,  
Help us plant, sow, and reap our every seed,  
And help keep our minds on ev'ry task. 

Rowena, creator of this poem,  
Bestow to us wisdom and intelligence,  
Help us to give our learning reverence,  
And to make learning our eternal home. 

Slytherin help us in our road,  
To ruling, governance, power, and might  
That we may have the needed foresight,  
That these seeds of power may someday be sowed 

And last but never the least among them,  
We ask ye, Godric Gryffindor,  
To make us brave and strong in the core,  
And let courage from us stem.  


Though gone in body and our sight,  
You are still here with us in mind and heart.  
Help to guide us to do our part.  
And to be with Hogwarts in all its might. 

It was a long, dull spell which they had to say every day in the class and which they had been forced to memorize at the beginning of the year. All those who didn't learn it were treated with the harsh punishment so natural to Prof. MacMillan. Though meant to be a heartfelt request, it sounded more like a dull incantation that nobody meant when the students said it in Prof. MacMillan's class. This time, however, Sirius and James said it with an unusual amount of gusto, but only because they knew what was about to proceed. 

And it happened. At the sign of Prof. MacMillan -- he told them when to sit down after the Hogwarts Pledge, just another of his quirks -- everyone sat down. Water flew everywhere out of the Bursting Poppers -- including soaking through ever student's robes and pants. James and Sirius laughed hysterically, slapping their knees as they watched the scene: 

Mary and Sue were both shrieking like terrified cats, about how "some water" (meaning about a droplet) had gotten in their hair, and how they were so freezing, and how they looked awful now. Lily was just looking disinterested and unshaken, as always. Prof. MacMillan was shooting the usual glare at James and Sirius. The whole class, generally, just looked peeved. 

Lily, however, still wore her usual expression. Nothing had changed. Nothing at all. Sirius was bemused. "C'mon, Lily, don't you have the ability to change your expression?" 

"Oh shut your trap!" Lily said. "Honestly, I have dealt with way worse than this and I don't react any more, so why should I react, and fuck you. 

"Well Jesus, I'm sorry. All I did was ask," Sirius said. To James he mumbled, "Some people have a temper." 

"You just figured that out?" James said, also in an undertone. 

Returning to his normal voice, Sirius added, "Maybe if you would actually have emotions you could actually make a few friends!" 

Lily glared at him. "And who ever said I wanted any?" 

"Well...doesn't everybody?" Sirius wasn't quite so loud now, but rather seemed...confused. 

"Sirius," James reminded him, "You didn't want friends when you first came to Hogwarts. In fact, you were a lot like this Lily person." 

"Yeah...but I was weird...I was an exception..." he said. "Anyway, I don't want to remember that. That was the old me. Anyway, I didn't go around with "fuck the world" written on my robes, and I wasn't as anti-social as this girl...I just didn't want friends. I didn't take so much effort to resist friendship...it's just no one offered it to me." 

"Sirius, shut your trap, you are over-glorifying yourself now. You did resist friendship from me for quite a while," James reminded him. 

"Oh shut up," said Sirius moodily. "I don't want to discuss that any longer." 

"So what, your just going to deny how you used to be?" James said, equally moody. 

"I'm not denying it, I'm just saying I don't want to talk about it!" Sirius shouted at him. 

"And if I do?" James shouted back. 

"Then tough luck for you. The whole world does NOT center around you!" Sirius said in the same tone of voice. 

"Yeah, but sometimes people want to talk about things a little deeper than girls, food, or brooms!" James said. 

"So I have to fuel your need?" Sirius yelled at him. 

"No, but you can take the trouble to discuss something like that once in your lifetime!" James responded angrily. 

"Hey, I've had a lot of deep discussions. Maybe I just don't feel like having one with you now!" 

"But maybe I do!" James shouted back, all his sensitivity vanishing in light of an argument. 

"Well then, maybe I don't feel like being your friend!" Sirius shouted. 

"Maybe I don't either," James said. And that was the end. Quiet. 

Prof. MacMillan looked at the two. "Are you two done with your discussion? Good, we can proceed with class. But first I'd like to notify you two that you will both be getting Notices of Punishment when I have decided on a fitting punishment. Now back to class work!" 

They resumed reading about charms. James, who always needed his mouth running, whispered to Lily, "So what is up with you anyway?" 

Lily hated that. They always wanted to know. Wasn't it clear that if she said fuck the world she wanted the world to leave her alone? But she supposed he needed a little bigger push in the right direction. "James or whatever your name is, just piss off." 

"Well excuse me for existing and trying to be charitable!" James said, barely above a yell, as he glared at her. 

"Not excused," Lily said, returning the glare. 

"Fine then. Damn, no wonder everyone hates you. I wouldn't be surprised if your own family hated you!" James said cruelly. 

That set her off. She hated when people set her off. She still maintained control, but only barely. "You know what, James?" 

"What?" he said, tauntingly, cruelly. 

"They do," she finally said simply. "At least my father -- my mother's dead. So fuck you." And with that she marched off to her room, not caring that class was still in session, and leaving MacMillan and the whole class too dazed to do anything at first. 

***

In her dorm Lily took a little time to think. She wondered if it was wise to tell them that her father hated her. Aw, the wouldn't ever believe anything anyway. Who cares? 

That Sirius boy was rather cute, but so intolerable. Not as much as the James boy, perhaps, who seemed to think the world revolved around him and his messy hair, but intolerable enough. She allowed herself to think someone was cute. She just didn't allow herself to fall in love, because that was very volatile -- both love and people -- and if she became volatile it would be too easy to hurt her. 

Lily sat down to work on the mirror. She was almost glad to be mad -- it wasn't that she enjoyed the emotion (on the contrary, she hated it, a shame since it was what she felt most of the time). It was just that she worked better, especially on vengeful projects, when she was mad. 

There would have to be something on the mirror to draw attention...more than just Mirror of Erised because people might just think it was just the mirror of someone who was named Erised or something and just pass it by. It had to be a long thing that people would wonder about and come to see. 

She remembered a sentence from an old playwright of the Wizarding World, O'Brien. There had been a character, a mystical one, who could tell everybody what they most wanted. He had told the hero, "I show thee not thine face but what thine heart desireth." Meaning that he didn't show the guy what you could see in his face but rather what you see in his heart. 

Yes, that would be nice. I show thee not thine face but what thine heart desireth. But it could use some rewording. Something like...I show not your face but what your heart desire...no, not quite the right ring to it. The end was just a little wrong...how about I show not your face but the desire of your heart? No, she decided, still a little wrong. 

Yes! That was it! I show not your face but your heart's desire. That would work. Still, a little more mysterious...that was too obvious, especially to people who knew O'Brien's works and knew that in the play the character who said the quote from which this derived had been a villain. Something like...not something where the letters are jumbled, that was too far...but perhaps backwards...yes, backwards. 

Erised straeh ruoy tub ecaf ruoy ton wohs I. No, that doesn't sound enough like a foreign language. 

She pondered it a while. Finally, she came to something she liked. Sounded enough like a foreign language. She scribbled onto a piece of paper: Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi. She smiled. That would do. 

She already knew how to make the mirror itself. She had taken a muggle course in building various things during her years when she didn't know she was a witch (she was, of course, a muggle born). She had mastered every object -- desks, mirrors, clip-boards, and small harps even. 

All that was left to figure out were the spells. Now, being a smart girl, she had more spells in her head than the average second year muggle born. She knew that only one spell would be really needed: a hallucination charm that would go on the glass to show the person's heart's desire. Nay, she realized, two: one would be needed just to find out the person's heart's desire. 

Well the second one would be easy. It was the spell that the man in O'Brien's play had tried to put on himself (it didn't work on humans, however). It was a long incantation in Latin, so she quickly grabbed her copy of O'Brien's _Desires of Thine Heart_ and looked it up and wrote it down. 

The Hallucination spell was easy -- it was in 100 Easy Spells for the First and Second year. She thought a moment and then wrote down, "Halucinatus desirem coram." 

She smiled. That was it. Build the mirror, put the two charms in, and get the engraving in with the simple engraving spell, "Scribis [text you want engraved]. 

She was about to begin the construction when some girl, either Mary or Sue, came in and said, "Prof. Schlechsten wants a word with you about you leaving class." 

As she groaned and said, "Shit," Lily could have sworn she saw the girl smirk.


	4. The Mirror of Erised

A.N.: *Sigh* I haven't written for a while...I was busy with other stuff like my newest story and stuff...and I've just been darned lazy because I have mild writers block on this thing. But I'll try to crank out a good story and fight writer's block! May be a bit short, however; I can't guarantee anything long when I have writer's block. :-) 

Disclaimer: Cats are cool. I own my cat and the plot, but I don't own Lily Potter, James Potter, Sirius Black, or Peter Pettigrew, or any of the other people you recognize. 

***

"What did I miss while I was away?" Remus asked. His normally alive eyes now held dark circles beneath them and his whole looked worn and tired in spite of the clear effort he was putting in to act alive. 

Sirius noticed at once. Remus ALWAYS looked this way after one of the sicknesses he or his family had. Before he had explained it away, saying that Remus was probably stressed or it was probably a side-effect of the disease; however, it was starting to get too consistent to be explained away like this. 

But James, being a somewhat self-centered boy in spite of his kindness, didn't notice it and started rambling on. "Well, Sirius deserted us --" 

"I did not!" Sirius said. "You started that whole rich-kid, the whole world revolves around me and my messy hair act and I got sick and tired of it!" 

"No, you refused to have a meaningful discussion!" James shouted back. 

"You insisted that we talk about what YOU wanted to talk about regardless to what I wanted to!" Sirius yelled at him. 

Remus sighed. After a long night in the forest and with a body full of aches, he was by no means in the mood to listen to another one of James' and Sirius' hissy fits. He honestly sometimes wondered why they were still friends -- though they seemed so sweet and happy most of the time, one of these fights seemed to cancel it all out. Remus just left it at that their friendship was an unexplainable gift from heaven and that he had no reason to meddle with it. 

Remus sighed. "Someone, just tell me what happened at the Sorting, all right? I heard strange rumors -- ridiculous rumors. 

"What, that we have a new girl in the second year who got expelled and wears Fuck the World on her robes? Or did you hear that half the boys are in love with the new student? Or that Prof. Dippet died and now Prof. Schlechsten is the headmaster?" Sirius asked casually. 

"All of the above," Remus answered. "So you've heard them too?" 

Sirius and James exchanged a look, one of the few that wasn't completely hate-filled, and Remus groaned inwardly. When they exchanged a LOOK, that usually meant that one of them was about to say something that was, in a word, unpleasant. 

And sure enough, that was what came. James grinned wryly and said, "I hate to be the bearer of unpleasant news, but they aren't rumors -- they're truth." 

Remus looked shocked for a moment and then his expression turned to a grin. Of course. James always played these kinds of jokes -- making him or Sirius worry for a minute and then saying a loud just kidding and making the person that the joke was on groan at being fooled so easily. "Haha, James," Remus said with a smile. "Didn't get me this time." 

But then he saw James and Sirius exchange a LOOK again and his heart sunk and sunk until he felt that it was as deep as the Titanic. It was true. 

"You mean -- it's true?" Remus said, voicing his fear at last. 

"Uh-huh," said James. "Sure is." 

"Oh damn!" Remus said. "Oops, sorry, my bad, I'm not supposed to curse. But really. Prof. Schlechsten really has it in for me." As he saw James' mouth open, he quickly continued, "I mean, he has it in for all the students, but even you must know he has it especially in for me. Maybe it's because I charmed on those signs all over the castle that said, 'Today's Language Lesson: The German word for worst is Schlechsten!' Yes, that could be it. But still, he didn't have to bear such a big grudge against me. I mean, aren't we supposed to forgive others their trespasses too?" 

"Remus, don't use the Lord's Prayer as an excuse for playing a joke on the guy," Sirius said. "Even though I am totally with you that the joke was a good one, there's no point in using the Lord's Prayer to justify it -- it does a fine job justifying itself." Sirius and Remus were some of the few Hogwarts students that actually attended the religious service. Of the 900, exactly 47 attended a religious service during the school year; ten went to synagogue, eighteen to the Protestant church, eighteen to the Catholic, and one commuted off campus to a mosque. 

"Yes, Saint Sirius," Remus said. "But really...whenever he comes I swear he puts a curse on me. I see him do it!" 

"We know that, Remus," James said. "We've seen him too. But it's just your tough luck, I guess." 

"Typical," Remus said darkly, clearly angry and moody. "Typical of my luck. First I lose my only sister -- my only sibling -- to leukemia, then my parents divorce, then I get stuck living with my mother every summer instead of my father, then I get --" he abruptly cut himself off. He was tell them It. Couldn't let It slip. 

"Then you get what, Remus?" James pressed. "What?" 

"Nothing," Remus said warily, "Nothing at all." James looked as though he was going to press on, but Remus shot him a warning glare that told James to Back Off. Or else. And he did so. 

"Anyway, tell me what else happened since I was gone," Remus said, trying to recreate the atmosphere -- and failing miserably. It was clear that Remus was in a bad spot now and so, laying their argument aside for a moment, James and Sirius made amends and told Remus what had happened -- at least, that was what they did until they got the Punishment Slips from Prof. MacMillan. 

***

But while Remus were enjoying a catching-up on the events from James and Sirius, Lily was suffering through something quite different: a catching up on her punishment from Prof. MacMillan. 

"So," he said, the word long and drawn out and ugly. "Another troubling case." 

"Oh shut up!" Lily said. "Just get on with the fucking problem." 

"Excuse me?" MacMillan spoke. Students never cursed to his face. Until now. 

"Yes I said fuck to you," Lily said crossly. "Now get on with it!" 

"It is children like you," MacMillan said with a scowl, "Which are creating the downfall of our society and culture today. Not only children, but people -- people who began like you and grew up to be even worse. 

"Since the Regulations on Punishment in Scholastic Organizations were created, I cannot use physical violence to disobedient students -- even the scum of society, such as you." 

Lily was glad. It wasn't that she couldn't deal with pain -- if that was it, she would have been destroyed a long time ago -- for she could; all she did was smile at the creature we call pain and say fuck you to it. But she nonetheless hated it. 

"But I'm sure society will forgive when they realize the favor I'm doing it," MacMillan continued. "Old discipline is the only way to deal with scum like you. That's why it is so old -- because it is so correct." And he took out a whip, obviously old and worn with use and age, and flicked it on her legs many times, too many times. It hurt but Lily did not so much as flinch. She had learned never to do that a long time ago with her father. 

"Dismissed," MacMillan said. "But keep in mind you will be getting Punishment Notice with a Punishment society does not mind. No amount of punishment is enough." 

Lily scowled as she muttered, "Just like father," under her breath and left the room to her dormitory, where Mary and Sue were already asleep -- thank God. 

***

It was early that morning, 5:00 a.m. to be precise, and Lily was tired. But that was put aside for a more important task: revenge. Lily flourished in the sweet waters of revenge. And, she thought as she gazed at the beautiful mirror -- not into it, of course, but just at the non-reflecting part --, she had never had a better object of revenge than this. It was perfect. Beautiful, seemingly ancient, the inscription just right -- she knew it was perfect in everything except for whether it really showed what it was supposed to. 

But she wasn't about to test that. She wasn't that stupid. She'd just have to have faith -- something foreign to her -- that the thing would work. But she would find out soon enough if it worked. 

She lugged the thing. It was surprisingly heavy. She began to wish she knew a charm to make the thing lighter, but she didn't. Damn. She kept it firm in hand in spite of the weight. She was strong. She had to be strong to live in her household. She could do it. 

Finally she reached the Great Hall. She put down the mirror right beside the main entrance. Most people except the already knowledgeable ones would stare right into it. Only those with intelligence would resist it -- and, as she had found, very few students here had intelligence. 

Lily smiled. Now all there was left for her to do was wait for breakfast to begin and her revenge to come. Her smile grew wider. Vengeance was sweet, certainly. 

***

Remus walked sleepily into the dining hall. A glint of gold caught the corner of his eye and he looked to the left. Without even seeing into it, he could tell what it was. A mirror. 

His head spun. What could a mirror be doing here? He knew better than to look. Mirrors didn't tend to just pop out of nowhere for no reason. Probably some stupid trick of Schlechsten to do something to him. No way was he going to fall into THAT kind of trap. He had learned by now -- from Schlechsten and from many others -- to be wary and not to let yourself willingly fall into a trap. It wasn't that you had to be bitter, as some felt -- just wary. 

However, he did look at the engraving above the mirror with some interest. It was clearly not English; it read, "Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi." But nor was it any other language; he, gifted in tongues, could recognize any group of languages, even the most minor, in both the wizarding and the muggle worlds, and this was like none of them. A code, he decided. 

He smiled. He was good at codes too. He already could tell it wasn't one of those silly codes where A=Z, B=Y, etc. He could crack that one easily, and that wasn't it. So he set to making complete anagrams. Finally he came up with it: I show not your face but your hearts desire. 

Heart's desire...where had he heard that before? He wasn't sure, but wherever he had, it rung an unpleasant bell in his head. 

He looked about the tables. James and Sirius hadn't gotten down to breakfast yet. Typical. They were late risers always, as he was always an early riser, even after the Transformation. 

He sat at an almost-empty table, the only other person a girl with stormy red hair. He didn't notice that she was so beautiful because he simply didn't spend much time on that, nor that she had Fuck the World written on her robes because they were hidden under the table. How was he to know that she was the infamous Lily Evans, expelled second year student? 

"Hullo," he said dully. "How're you this morning?" 

"Stop the false pretense of caring," she said snappily. "I've had enough pain in my life that I don't want you in it. Fuck off." 

"Well if you're going to be that way, fine then!" Remus said. He hated people who used pain as an excuse. _He_ had had more than his full share of pain and he hadn't turned out that way. What right did anybody else have to be that way? 

"Good. Go on then, leave me! Didn't I just tell you to fuck off? And while you're at it, take a look in that mirror. You might find something...interesting in it." 

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Remus rolled his eyes. "What kind of fool would like in a mirror that shows their heart's desire?" 

"You...you know," Lily said, confused, too fast to even stop the look on her face from finally turning to confusion and genuine curiosity. 

"Well damn, duh I know!" Remus rolled his eyes. "I mean, excuse the language, but isn't it kind of obvious when a mirror appears suddenly that was never there before that has letters that rearrange to say, 'I show not your face but your heart's desire' on it that it might not be so wise to look into it?" 

"Smarter than most of the stupid assholes at this school," Lily muttered, half to herself, half to Remus. And for once she meant what she said. He did seem...smarter, more aware than anyone else she'd meant -- not that that was saying much. 

Her genuine curiosity and even slight admiration that there was someone else hear quickly changed back to the anger. Damn. Now he might warn others. Stupid asshole better not. She was going to tell him not to, but realized that this was a stupid proposition, something like telling someone not to press the red button. It just put the idea into their head. So she just said, "Fuck off, why don't you?" 

"Okay then, I will," Remus said, not even glaring at her. She didn't make him so angry anymore as curious -- why did she act like such a bitch all the time? He experienced pain too but he wasn't like that. 

But he moved on nonetheless and simply staring out the window, not even bothering to eat, no longer hungry. Deciding, however, that after the Transformation he should be nourished a bit, he took a few bites to eat. 

When he looked back, he saw a site that made him cringe. A boy, a fat, plump, sweet little innocent boy (or so he was at the time) that Remus recognized as Peter Pettigrew. Poor boy. He wasn't ready to see his heart's desire -- nobody is, but the inexperienced, innocent, are so much less prepared than the experienced who had already lost their innocence. 

When he saw the reflection, the boy looked scared and longing and driven insane all at once. Poor creature, Remus thought as he beckoned the boy over and began a friendship that was to prove fateful in years to come... 

To Be Continued

A.N.2.: Well, I did try, even if it wasn't that good. Please review now! Give me ideas for the next part, sil vous plait! And just tell me what you think! Thanks in advance, and remember: All's Well that End's Well! :-)


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